Yet another Sunday in Alaska

    Well school time has come around again so days are full of work, soccer practice, homework and still an attempt at a balanced life.  But I was sitting in mass today with my father with the sun on my face and began to think on things that I had heard and other things that I have read. 
    Well the first thought that came to my mind was the point of mass and ultimately the reason for why we are alive.  Please note that I am only 15 years old and this reason is only from what I have learned and gathered in my short time on this earth.  The point is not for our sake but for God's.  Millions of my brothers and sisters in Christ joined together today to celebrate this most amazing thing which we call the Eucharist.  Every week or so I hear how people either go to mass because they feel better about themselves afterwords, or those that don't go to mass because it never seems to pertain to them.  The WHOLE point of this most blessed and life giving sacrament is for God.  He is ultimately the one who is supposed to be getting something out of it not us.  We are there so that He can gain more souls to be eternally happy with Him heaven.  It has been said many times before that our God is a jealous God. (I personally do not agree with this terminology because it is impossible to put human characteristics to God unless we are talking about the person of Christ. Which I am not.)  But He wants us. All of us.
     Secondly, since God wants us and nothing more we should want Him and nothing more.  The search for the faith and truly loving God is what we must do before we can find happiness in anything else.  It's really just that simple.  Love God above all else. Enough said.
    Well like many others, I'm on this journey to find the ways to love God.  I don't have the answers. I don't expect many of you to have answers to how to get there either.  But I did hear one thing that helps in the search.  When starting at square one, don't just simply ask God to show himself to you, ask God for ways that you may find Him. The paths will be wearisome and hard. That just needs to be accepted but hey He's got to have a little fun with us on earth doesn't He? I have seen man as a being capable of such compassion and love for each other now we must find that love in God, with God and we must believe that He loves us dearly each and every single one of us.
                                                                                                                                May God bless us all.
                                                                                                                                      Marisa Ramos

Jesus, I trust in you.

Excuse Me

    So in short my day was an interesting learning experience.  It started as every day should with a normal shower and an attempt to get ready for a day of regrettable nothing.  But as I said before it was indeed a learning experience.  The most profound form of learning today was through prayer.  Well as anyone will tell you prayer would most likely be the best way to learn about many things.  But instead of outright knowledge it gave me more of a peace of mind. Which will be very much excepted in this state of life I am currently in.
    Let me backtrack. My parents are getting a divorce for the second time in six years.  Well due to this I've been in a very...undefinable state of mind.  As of right now they both hate each other with burning passion and although I feel that both of them are beyond immature in their actions, thoughts, and just general decorum, I am still a minor in private school with no job.  So even the idea of emancipation is impossible.  Well when you live with one but spend allot of time with the other you tend to get put in between them quite a bit.  So take today my fathers work computer died so he rightfully made my mother give him the computer that he bought that she chose to kept.
    I digress from my original point.  Well as he expects me to do something he progresses to talk at me.  Then she comes home picks up the computer and leaves.  Well I guess my voiced thought on this would be that when your parents really truly hate each other just sit in your room and don't pretend that nothings wrong but simply don't take it.  Although I don't believe they deserve respect at this point in time the best you can do is withdraw for 10 seconds within yourself and as God for help, patience, and guidance.  You are a person even as a minor.  A fact that I believe some parents forget allot.
    I'll have more on the whole disrespect thing later.  So the day proceeds with an afternoon of pathetic marathon consisting of boring cartoons and movies.  Until I receive an apology from m father.  Forgiveness is defiantly an aspect of the strong.  An aspect I'm afraid that has become incapable for me to show towards my parents.  Can you blame me? The second time they put me through this and I haven't run away yet. 
    I'll fast forward a few hours to about 10:00 when my mothers friend was over.  Well seeing as how I was already annoyed with her I was, of course, a typical disrespectful teenager.  Excuse me for being that way.  I am not perfect and I am not a saint.  So since my mother gives me freedom she expects more from me or some bullshit like that.  Well now I have to apologize to her friend for being a normal fucking teenager. EXCUSE ME! I'm angry is that so bad.
    Well frankly it is.  But it is not my duty to make her look good or to apologize to anyone who I don't feel deserves it.
    I know what is said in the Psalms. "If you are angry let it be without sin"
    Now I'll arrive at my point after my whining self indulgence up there.  We all are subject to every ones opinions.  We're even subject to being raised according to opinions of people that we don't necessarily agree with.  Well unfortunately we have to deal with every single one of these people in our daily lives whether we want to or not.  It is the most awful piece of crap that we'll probably have to deal with in this life.  But the best way to overcome it is to simply retreat into yourself for a while, find out your opinion and if this person that you have to deal with at this time is an absolute jerk who doesn't deserve your time, simply remember that patience isn't received just by asking God for it.  We receive patience by trials that He puts us through.  So when you remember that you asked God to give you patience remember that it is possibly in this very moment that He is going to give it to you. You simply have to help yourself.
    Well that's my two cents on my day. We go through trials like this everyday so a little identification with someone who goes through the same thing is refreshing.
                                                                                                                     Jesus I trust in you.

Opening

       So many people go through life looking for the "greener grass." Sadly I've also been one of those people.  But an idea dawned on me today that everyone has had one thing that happened to them during the day that would be worth relishing. Whether it be something as simple as a kind word from a random stranger or a life lesson that has given you a major epiphany. We almost always have a way to avidly choose happiness or to give happiness to another person.  
       This leads me to my point of why I chose to write a blog. Instead of partaking in self indulgence by just reveling in how good my day went and boring you with every single detail, I choose instead to take instances that can bring all to an idea that all have thoughts that circulate about everything that one encounters.
        Let me elaborate. I think too much. I don't intend on putting down every bleeding thought that comes to my mind but to choose the ones that make a difference, the ones that I feel can turn someones opinion on life. My intention is not to use this for simple self indulgence or anything of the sort. I'm going to write to give my thoughts a voice.